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According to trainer Steve Sayles, via PR man Bob Rose, [Brett Anderson's] strain [is] in the musculotendinous junction

[Original lyrics here.]
Musculotendinous Junction, as performed by the Dr. James Andrews Sisters
Feelin’ low
Pitchin’ slow
Don’t want to go
Right back where J. Devine is bound
Way down south in Birmingham
I mean south in Alabam’
There’s an old place where pitchers go
To get [...]

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge

Straight outta Oakland, crazy motherfucker named Ice Duke
From the gang called Pitchaz With Aptitude
Target called off, a bat is sawed off
Pull the trigger, and hittaz are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
Cederstrom gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that’s how [...]

[Original lyrics here.]
Glove Penury
1. “Go down, go down, Glove Penury,” Beane cried.
“And stay i’ Sacramentee.
I have gold coins, two mill point five
I’ll guar’n’ty them all to thee.”
2. “I can’t go down and I shan’t go down,
Or stay i’ Sacramentee.
Some shitty-hitting team in MLB
May love me better than thee.”
3. He bounced his bat on his shoulder [...]

[Original lyrics here.]
Slugger’s Escape
“Overlook, please, my strikeouts,”
I heard the slugger say,
As the A’s waived him from the Coliseum
And were giving him away.
“My offseason hasn’t been a pleasant one
And my time it isn’t long,
And I still do not know
What it was that I’ve done wrong.”
Well, the GM, he cast his chair aside,
A tarp hung at his [...]

[Original lyrics here.]
ODE TO JOHNNY JOE
It was the third of April, a preseason ending by the bay
I was out takin’ grounders while Mark Ellis turned doubleplays
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the clubhouse to eat
And Geren hollered out the back door “y’all remember to wipe your cleats”
And then he said “I [...]

[Original lyrics]
Winning teams had come
Here but now they’re gone
Prospects and pray for sleepers
So we can win, in sun or in rain
(We can cheer they’re here)
Come on baby (let’s pray for sleepers)
Pitching with right hands (let’s pray for sleepers)
We’ll be able to win (and play for cheaper)
Baby it’s a plan…
Valentine trade’s done
Here, but now he’s gone
Billy [...]

The Baseball Project (Steve Wynn, Pete Buck, et al) has a very Web 2.0 running-dog corporate-lackey new project: they’re rolling out approximately an album’s worth of new songs (Broadside Ballads) across various one-time interactive/online events (all the events and songs will be at ESPN). The first one is an ESPN chat with Steve Wynn at [...]

Drat! No luck embedding the video.
[Original lyrics here.]
With apologies to Leopold Bloom:
Prints on the Mound
Prints on the mound, prints on the mound
Workin’ like a tool with yo’ prints on the mound
Green ‘n gold in yo’ mouth
Head turned, sighed, “A’s…”, plans hit the ground
Call yourself a “Bloom”, cat? Lookin’ like a fool
Workin’ downtown
With yo’ prints on [...]

[Original lyrics here]
So, so you think you can call
A strike from a ball
Long flies from outs
Can you play in right field?
Or will you just flail?
Like an EPIC FAIL?
Do you think you can hit?
And did they get you to trade
Your homers for outs?
Everybody agrees
Your whiffs bring a cool breeze
Jack, why did you change?
Did you exchange
A walk [...]

[Original lyrics here.]
I woke up this mornin’,
There were tears in my bed.
They cut a bat I really loved
Signed Coco Fucking Crisp instead.
VORP, VORP,
They drove poor Jack Cust outta town.
VORP, VORP,
The AL strikeout crown.
Sent him off to free agency
Four million-dollar arbitra’.
Chose the poor OPS behind him
Let 25 HR and 100 BB walk away.
VORP, VORP,
They drove poor [...]