STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
- What John Cole said 1:
I just watched this segment and it left me physically aroused
The whole “The Family” thing is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay kreepy.
- What John Cole said 2:
I know the current HCR bill is flawed, but for christ sakes, pass the God Damned bill already.
- People like a Congressman with guts
- Christ, what a Cliff Stoll
- Episcopalians?!?
- “congeal around” is a good verb phrase.
- As is “Milka Duno“
- In college, I played human beatbox for Gyrocopter Decapitation
- This is lesson #1 (and #2!) I am teaching monkeyball jr:
People gotta go, and stuff costs money.
- Yglesiasm:
Not only do Democrats have a pathetic lack of self-confidence on national security issues, they’re also unable to recognize a strong hand when they have it.
- This sort of thing is where Deadspin really shines
- JMM Freudian slip (emphasis added):
McCain’s reporters have responded by …
Screenshot in case it gets fixed:
- What Drew McWeeny said
Wooooooooooo Chavez triple! He’s still in the game!!!!!!!!! It’s all going to be different this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
up
STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
2. It is pretty clearly going to happen. I wish the President would “show strength”, “demonstrate leadership”, and “take a stand”, though. He’s just not pushing hard enough on this issue.
12. Priceless.
7, 8, 11, 13. I don’t really understand the appeal of Deadspin or Tim Burton.
up
12. I emailed them, and they fixed it — blindly, without snarky comment. I’m highly disappointed.
up
Perhaps they withheld the snark out of respect for the fact that he is both a POW and a straight talking maverick.
up
2. TWtDFHsS
For the monkey.
Coming from behind bitches.
up
TWHS
It’s a helluva bizarre world where I’m considered upstanding and competent enough to have the responsiblities which are currently crushing me like a bug bitches.
up
That’s me!
up
This is sigline material
up
A thought like that has been running through my head all week.
Pre-seasoned victory cabbage!
up
what’s it seasoned with?
up
Smells like … victory!
up
I made some anticipatory victory cabbage last night: not krauted, but traditional Kraut nonetheless. Shredded, then sauteed with butter, salz, pfeffer, undt spring garlic. And just for the heck of it, I added cubed eggplant. Really good.
up
did you eat it solo or accompnaiment?
up
With mashed potatoes (a little heavy on the buttermilk, but still good) and smoked sausage cooked in the potato water.
up
mmmm….I’m definitely crashing the Moonkeyball residence upon my return (think the beginning of Lady and the Tramp)
up
iFSU, Moonkeyball residence crashes you
up
… and (fake) Carolina bbq in the oven all day today …
up
I might just leave now.
up
Bring buns.
up
TWHS
up
I’m pretty sure he eats the whole thing by himself.
Re 3: Facts do not support headline.
Paging JediLeroy: is this guy off his rocker, or is Japan really this weird?
up
Totally, 100% accurate. It’s amazing how he hit on basically everything that has irked me at some point about Japan.
up
tl. dr.
But man, that guy’s an ASSHOLE. He had it right in his thousand introductory paragraphs: he’d be a miserable, complaining, why-doesn’t-the-world-and-everyone-in-it-conform-to-my-unique-snowflake-shape ASSHOLE no matter where he lived.
up
I was sitting here, wondering what “tl. dr.” meant (even though I’ve used it before) until I went to the article. My. God. 30k words on why Japan totally sucks ass? Does he own a sign shop there? Why doesn’t he just move? I couldn’t even come close to writing that much about Florida. Maybe a quarter.
up
I concluded that the #1 problem with Japan is that this guy lives there.
up
He gives vegetarians a bad name.
up
I can respect the need to want to be vegetarian and his struggle with that there (and the smoking AND drinking thing). But come on dude, if it’s so fucking obvious the culture you’ve submersed yourself in is in direct conflict with your chosen lifestyle, get the fuck out cause they don’t want you there anyway.
up
Per the previous responses: Yes Japan really is that weird, if not weirder.
But, yes, he also sounds like, if not necessarily an ASSHOLE, at least someone who likes to complain. (And who spends entirely too many words doing so). In particular,
1) If you don’t drink, smoke, or eat meat Japan might not be the place for you.
2) If you don’t like bizarre adherence to tradition for tradition’s sake, Japan might not be the place for you.
No matter how much you love video games.
up
Like I said–most of the stuff he’s saying is true. But yeah, he’s a douche. The questions to his coworkers about not having to say good morning were pretty telling.
There are a lot of hilarious aspects about living in Japan. The way I see it, though, there are two ways to go about pointing out the uniqueness of wherever you live.
1. You can talk about how f***ing ridiculous everything is, and how you hate living in such a f***ing messed up place
2. You can point out how funny things are for someone in your shoes
The first isn’t going to win you any friends, and it’s going to make you hate your country of residence that much more.
I admit that living here can be frustrating at times, but any place can be annoying if you’re so antagonistic about the differences from your mother culture. I, for one, love living here.
Points I can agree with:
1. I don’t really like anime
2. It bugs me that people are so influenced by the TV culture (which really doesn’t appeal to me)
3. Much of Japanese comedy isn’t funny to me
4. I kinda don’t like how everybody says that food is delicious while it’s still in their mouth, even if it’s the nastiest thing they’ve ever had
5. Japanese pop music is pretty soulless
Things I love about Japan (in no order):
1. Health care
2. 100 yen sushi restaurants
3. 100 yen shops
4. How generous everybody is
5. Second-hand shops
6. How foreign the culture is to me
7. Japanese
8. How willing to help most people are
9. How people actually show respect and courtesy for each other (whether they really feel it or not)
This list could go on forever. Japan’s definitely weird, and for a self-proclaimed normal guy, there are times where I don’t get as much enjoyment as others might. But the chance to live in a foreign country and learn about their language, culture, and rich history is something that many people never will get–and to have it with my family makes it that much more unique and memorable.
up
Thanks for the counterpoint, JL.
I like it.
up
Happy belated birthday! I wanted to call the sign shop and
signsing in Japanese.up
I think I would’ve known it was you.
up
I instructed all his sign monkeys to march in and pound their thighs and shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY! in unison, then to go out in the street and get drunk in a circle.
up
THAT’S what that was all about!
Sheets on the mound, Sheets on the mound.
up
Thank Ba’al you didn’t link to the Jenkins piece.
NYT does the Sheets story:
But does he have to do that if he’s the first one in the clubhouse?
up
Yes. Causing he’s not talking about his teammates when he says it. That clubhouse is the fucking champion of champions and you pay it respect regardless of who’s there.
up
UDNCWIDT
up
iwtl. hdr.
up
positive affirmation bitches.
Re 5 — just yikes. Proud to see the Unitarians made their shyt-list.
up
How’s Reno?!
up
BTW, yep. Episcopalians, too. From their website repentamarillo.com:
The Episcopal Church, btw, is probably the most AA-friendly church there is. Their charter insists upon them hosting AA meetings if at all possible and their ministers are given training to hear 5th steps.
up
But at least they’re only labeled “Compromised Church.” The Muslims, Buddhists and Masons all get labeled “Idol Worship.” Remember, monkey, only evil hides in the dark.
Upon reflection, I’m glad I’m in Florida and not Texas. I’m sorry, ws40. It looks like there’s more to fear there than crickets.
up
iFSU, only dark hides in evil
Couldn’t get pass Michael Lewis’s posse to give him the swag. Mission NOT accomplished.
up
You should have worn a trenchcoat with something bulky and not-necessarily-baby-shaped under it. That would have cleared you a path.
up
Okay, now he’s in front of me being interviewed in the press room.
up
Booo
up
Out of curiosity, did you hear what Brian Burke spoke about?
up
no, i missed him, but saw him last year. Google “dorkapalooza 2009″ for what burke had to say.
Lewis says that Pitt in playing Beane, Bennett Miller is directing, and prinicipal photography starts in June.
up
did ja give him swag?
up
no
up
WHY NOT?!
up
I like that!
up
Awe. Some.
up
FUCK-ING A!
THAT FUCKING ROCKS!
This week’s rediscovery of a long-forgotten/neglected musical favorite via extremely cheap deal on Amazon: the Screaming Blue Messiahs. I don’t know enough to expound on the drummer’s technical artistry (or to interpolate on the mic’ing), but their debut album has about the best sounding drums I’ve ever heard.
up
will trust your judgment and dl immediately.
Bill Simmons writes this.
Olbermann responds: Bill Simmons is a clown
Bill Simmons to Olbermann via Twitter:
“I’m furious that my Tiger column distracted America from a detailed and only mildly creepy case for Johnny Orsino’s Hall of Fame candidacy.”
“KO, please know the feeling is mutual. You’re my worst case scenario for my career in 12 yrs: a pious, unlikable blowhard who lives alone.”
“I feel bad about saying Olbermann lives alone. I forgot about his cats.”
Like Simmons, I too was not alive for the Ali comeback; however, going off articles, books, and programs, I have read or watched, not sure how he can compare Tiger’s comeback to Ali’s for a variety of reasons. I suppose I agree with Olbermann in that respect, yet with that said, that shot at Simmons comes across as being born out of mostly envy. I’m neutral on Simmons, but there are far worse articles published almost every other day than his most recent piece.
up
I agree with you pretty well down the line. Though Simmons’ comparison of Woods to Ali is in fact breathtakingly stupid.
up
Bill Simmons has become increasingly pompous and unoriginal over the last decade. I no longer can tolerate a columnist I used to relish. It may be his worst case scenario in 12 years, but it’s exactly where he’s heading.
up
I only started reading Simmons five years or so ago, and for me he’s occasionally a great read, but exceptionally inconsistent, like a nationally-read Bruce Jenkins. And maybe he is trending downward–specifically, his current fascination with Tiger Woods is unreadable.
I think that Simmons’ willingness to address the world of sex as he writes about the world of sports has always been part of his appeal. To a certain extent, I think it’s cool. With this Tiger Woods thing, he’s crossed a line.
Totally cool: Constantly comparing the dynamics on a sports team or in a sports locker room or at a sporting event with the dynamics of an intimate relationship, a first date, a bachellor party, etc.
Also cool: whole-heartedly spurning the holier-than-thou voice taken on by so many sports writers when it comes to the players’ sex lives.
A little edgy for me, but I can’t hold it against him: writing with the man code so deeply internalized that off-hand congratulations are made to pop culture male celebrities for “plowing through supermodels” or “plowing through every single female sex symbol in Hollywood.” The sensibility gets a little too Maxim for me here, but again, I appreciate the honesty, so I forgive it.
Another complaint, but something I can live with: In his zest for getting to know these athletes and the lives they lead, he goes out late nights to hot spots on All-Star weekend and tries to see them in their element. And as he describes these late night scenes, he sounds like something in between a stalker and a groupie. But you know what? I can see where he’s coming from; fans want writers to help them get to know these athletes.
Jumping the shark: being fascinated/enamored with the new Tiger Woods, and making his upcoming comeback attempt into something potentially heroic.
up
He was great when his stories were “my friends and I just went to vegas and…” He’s much reduced now that it’s “10 years ago my friends and I… and I hope my daughter doesn’t do that.”
up
it’s gotten pathetic.
Plus, he’s a huge Boston homer. Did he move back yet, or is he still just threatening to? Bill, there is NOTHING keeping you in CA….feel free to move back.
up
A little edgy for me, but I can’t hold it against him: writing with the man code so deeply internalized that off-hand congratulations are made to pop culture male celebrities for “plowing through supermodels” or “plowing through every single female sex symbol in Hollywood.” The sensibility gets a little too Maxim for me here, but again, I appreciate the honesty, so I forgive it.
I don’t know. We’ve set the bar for honesty pretty low if all you have to do to hurdle it is make jokes about actors screwing each other.
I used to listen to his podcast sometimes, before it got too stupid for me to bear. He said many times, quite earnestly, that evolving his craft was important to him, that he considered himself a writer in the best sense of the word. But whether that’s true or not is irrelevant. He’s made a lot of money exploiting the nexus between male chauvinism and guts ‘n glory sports sap, by forging a kinship with guys who stream porn during Letterman and assign mythical importance to words like “gamer” and “choker” and “chemistry”.
He’s beholden to that audience, and there is something used up and pathetic about a forty year-old writer trolling for frat kid traffic.
He and Adam Carolla are two middle aged guys telling jerk off jokes to 20 year-olds who think it’s just the most hilarious thing they ever heard. Lucrative, that, and, you know, more power to them, but I wouldn’t call it edgy or interesting or honest. It’s schtick.
Jumping the shark: being fascinated/enamored with the new Tiger Woods, and making his upcoming comeback attempt into something potentially heroic.
Yes. This idea that Tiger Woods cheating on his wife can be extrapolated into an Important Cultural Moment makes my head hurt.
Simmons aside, I don’t get this. Are we really still shocked that famous men with perpetual access to willing, beautiful women cheat on their spouses? Seriously? Gosh, it’s almost as surprising as the revelation that athletes take performance enhancing drugs.
I guess people feel that Woods breached some kind of sacred megastar-prole bond of trust by daring to portray himself as a family man. I only hope the jilted masses find the strength to persevere. Right now, they’re reeling and disoriented, having learned that a golfer they will never meet has flaws. Eventually, though, you’ve got to stiffen that lip, dry those tears, and shift your allegiance to some other principled, right-thinking famous person with an honest gaze and a glowing profile in People magazine.
up
(pst…I love you)
up
For me, the “plow” comments put him on the “edge” of embracing male chauvinism to a degree which made me uncomfortable. But then I guess I segued from there to a compliment for his not being sanctimonious. You’re absolutely right–that’s setting the bar way low. I also appreciate your use of that word “chauvinism,” which is very-much what I was trying to get at. And I think Simmons’ embrace of the Woods comeback is his chauvinism run amok.
up
and it’s not a comeback. A comeback’s when you have, like an ACL tear or something. He got busted having sex with a lot of women by his wife and the public at large. What is there to come back from? He hasn’t forgotten how to golf. He’ll still golf well. Public perception? This is a country that spent 6 months on the OJ trial 15 fucking years ago. We might be a bit fickle as a group.
up
IOW, don’t call it a comeback.
up
I should probably give him more credit for (mostly) setting sanctimony aside. He’s certainly an improvement over Rick Reilly and his ilk. On the other hand, his insistence on dividing the universe of professional athletes into “winners” and “chokers” is a form of sanctimony, in that it presupposes deep flaws of character in the latter group.
And God, he just never learns. Alex Rodriguez, Peyton Manning, JD Drew, and on and on … none of them “have what it takes” to “come through in the big moment” until, well, they do, at which point he moves on to someone else who (obviously! anyone can see it!) just lacks that certain something you need when the chips are down (cue the not at all tired comparison to some especially lame Real World cast member from 2002).
There’s honest and there’s honest. The easy version of honest is to say what you think, which I guess Simmons sort of does, though you could also say he elicits undeserved credit for candor by fetishizing his editorial disagreements with ESPN. The harder version of honest means penetrating everyday artifice to lay bare what we really think and how we really act (and why). The best writers, stand up comedians, etc. operate at this level of honesty, and Simmons just does not have the chops/depth/intelligence to pull that off.
Anyone watch FlashForward? I just noticed Ricky Jay’s on it, which is pretty much an automatic seal of approval to me. Details?
up
Meh. The lead is a total shmuck who I just can’t get behind. And if these people are an example of who’s in charge of running investigations, well, it might actually say a lot about why the country is so… well… the way the country is. And RJ was only in one episode with a brief appearance. Don’t bother.
up
so why they using him in a commercial? To trick poor schmucks like me?
BASTARDS!
up
Basically
up
It’s basically Lost without the island.
up
I did watch Flash Forward–which character is Ricky Jay?
up
I dunno. Big fat guy with a beard. Distinct voice. If you watched Deadwood, he was Cy Tolliver’s craps ringer in season one, Eddie.
Congrats LB, you win a luxurious trip to Florida.
up
I win! I win! I wi…wait…where?
Wooooooooooo! It’s almost April!
up
I want season tickets…
(sniff)
up
You have to move back to California first. It’s the law.
up
Breaking the law. Breaking the law.
up
washing the dog, washing the dog.
up
That’s exactly what I was thinking :)
up
great and disturbed minds…
up
iFSU, dog thinks about washing you
up
iRL, so does cat.